The impact of returning to a new normal - The Australian story
By Dr. Georgiana Cameron and Dr. Connie Buckingham
There have been many unknowns when it comes to COVID, we have had to deal with snap lock downs, where to find toilet paper and hand sanitiser, schools and borders opening and closing, treatments and vaccines under development and hardest of all loved ones’ suffering. For the most part, people have demonstrated tremendous resilience to these constant and significant changes to their daily life.
Many have talked about the positive side to this pandemic– being safe, more time at home with the family, a chance to help your child with school, the pace of life slowing down. But while there have been some positives, these don’t necessarily take away from the challenges. For those of us who are vulnerable to feeling anxious, depressed and confused, this last year of constant change, threat of illness and at times social isolation, has been a struggle. The changes that children have had to cope with have been unprecedented.
And now, as we in Australia are returning to a new normal, there are still many unknowns about the impact of COVID. At the practice, we’ve noticed in the last two weeks that kids are beginning to regress in spite of many having a smooth start back to the year. Many parents are puzzled and searching for answers and wondering whether Covid lock down and home schooling is related. We would say, yes, it’s a big factor.
We have observed this month that many adults are also feeling the impact and needing more sick days or annual leave days than they would usually need in the past. It would be easy to miss the fact that after months of lockdown and reduced busyness, reduced movement and fewer daily demands, we would at this exact moment in time, be feeling run down. But here we are.
We are almost one school term down, traffic has returned, lunchboxes and social events have all resumed. We are tired and vulnerable to meltdown and so are our kids. Why?
Research into the impact of COVID is scarce, but here’s what researchers Philip and Cherian (2020) have observed. During a pandemic, there can be information and adjustment overload, especially for those people who take health advice seriously.
In Australia we take our health seriously, as evidenced by our low rates of infection and spread. Yet adherence to all these new rules and processing of information have a psychological toll. We can get worn out, stressed.
We experience stress when there is either real or perceived threats to our wellbeing (Kumar, Rinwa, Kaur & Machawal, 2013). We all are experience stress from time to time, but sustained and persistent stressful conditions leave us vulnerable to mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. In such times, our fight or flight systems become activated. We feel the impacts of stress most acutely when we have little control over the stressor (in this case COVID).
With all this in mind, it makes perfect sense why some of us may be feeling more worried or low than usual. For children and teens who are already dealing with the natural stressors of growing up like trying to make friends and keep them, fitting in, doing well at school and understanding who they are, the pandemic has added another layer of complexity. In some cases, young people have spent months alone in their room creating an online persona which don’t match with the imperfect one they have at school. For some families, they have let go of routine only to be thrust back into the daily grind and are struggling to keep up. Many have missed important milestones like their first year of high school, prep, graduations, special birthdays, camps and concerts.
As we move back into this new normal, it is vital that we be compassionate with ourselves and others. In some ways we need the compassion more now than when we were in the height of lockdown. This is the time that our expectations go from 0 to 100 in the matter of a few weeks. Now the vaccine is here, we can all return to normal – but let’s not burn ourselves out trying to get to normal.
Here are some ideas for families to consider as we get back to normal:
- Be compassionate – the researcher Kristen Neff describes this as having three parts: 1) mindfulness – be aware of your thoughts and feelings in the moment, notice them and don’t attach too strongly to them, 2) recognise we are all imperfect human beings and 3) be kind – treat yourself how you treat a good friend.
- Hold on to routines – Be sure to have a rest during holidays, however hold on onto some daily routines like early bedtimes, responsibilities like daily showers, teeth brushing and emptying the dishwasher, and less screen time to help everyone transition in and out of holidays easier
- Play COVID catch up – Together with your kids, review the last year and think about all the experiences you have missed as individuals and as a family. Try not to dwell on these, rather get creative and have a think about how you might celebrate or do some of these things now.
- Savour the good experiences – As we’ve mentioned, there were hard times last year, but there were also some unique family experiences that should be savoured. Sit on the couch and go through some of your photos from last year, write down some of the memorials moments and reminiscence.
- Good old-fashioned self-care – Schedule in time for relaxation and pampering, get your hair done, go for a walk in nature, watch your favourite movie